February Lady and December Family

So my stealth knitting is revealed with possibly the worst FO pictures of all time.



The kiddos were just too darn cute and I forgot to get a photo of the Princess in her new sweater.



See, who can think about photographing sweaters when these two have the charm turned up?



Maybe she will get PBTB to take a picture of her in it and post it to her blog (hint hint!) It looks beautiful on her, and as she is hardly showing yet (at 24 weeks- sickening!) it is clear that it will look great on her after little ET is born.

Our trip to Utah for Christmas and New Years was on the higher end of the stress meter than we would have liked. It involved 8 hours in a plane (for a flight that should only take 2 hours,) two trips to the emergency room (none for our little family, W and Grandma are just accident prone,) as well as the usual stress of trying to make sure everyone feels like we are spending enough time with them (which we are never successful at, but not for lack of trying.)

We did enjoy seeing the Duke's oldest brother, his wife and their kids very much. It is the first time their two younger kids have ever been to Utah and it was a lot of fun to get to spend time with them.

And of course, getting to see my cousins and their kids and letting W and Little Sir "bond" was a highlight.

Readjusting to our daily routine has been proving difficult. Little Sir quickly grew accustom to haveing someone entertain him, play with him, hold him, and otherwise dote on him all the time. Now he thinks that I should fulfill this role. We have been having a lot more tantrums than normal. A few more days and we should be good, though.

Back to school for me was depressing. I thoroughly enjoyed my weeks off, but knowing I only have three classes to go gives me hope and keeps me going.

Lastly, we are currently experiencing a brief repeat of the 2007 nightmare. After weaning Little Sir it was time for me to find out what effect birth control pills would have on my now overly sensitive body. I was good through phase one, but upon starting phase two the muscle aches returned and tonight (day 13 or 14) the Chorea has returned. It isn't anything near the horribleness of the end of my pregnancy, but it is enough to keep me from sleeping. Needless to say, I will be visiting my doctor to discuss other options. Ah life. . .

Foto Frustration

I am very frustrated! I've lost the cord that allows me to transfer photos from my digital camera to my computer. I've looked everywhere for it. Yesterday I went to buy a new one and the guy at Bestbuy sold me a thing that looks like a jump drive instead that you plug your camera's memory card into, sounds great, right? Right, except my camera's memory card it too big to fit into it.

AHHHHHHHHHHH

I'll return to blogging when I resolve this situation.

Anxiety

The Duke and I spent three hours in the ER tonight letting people poke and prod me with various unpleasant objects. They were trying to determine the source of the "abdominal pain" (which is not abdominal pain no matter how many times I tell them that) I am experiencing. The Result? More anxiety, no answers.
The doctor said that he could see nothing grossly wrong, which the Duke interpreted for me. "Gross" in medical terminology means you can't see it with the naked eye. I'm glad the Duke was there, the way the doc said it made me think that there was something wrong, but it wasn't terribly wrong.
Anyway, they took samples of pretty much anything you can collect from a human body and will let me know if anything looks weird. There was nothing that made them think there was any immediate danger, as my cervix (the source of the pain) is closed and the baby is not in distress. So the OB on call said we would just need to wait for lab results and an ultrasound, which I am slated for in the next week or two anyway.
They wanted to stick an IV in me to increase my fluids but I wouldn't let them, preferring to just drink a liter of gatoraid instead. They sent me home with orders to stay in bed until Tues when I have an appointment with my doctor.

Did I mention that I hate being pregnant?
Send good vibes my way and hope that I don't need them. My dad reminds me that it's nearly always nothing, or something simple to fix, but of course he also acknowledges that is cold comfort. Anxiety is a true "talent" of mine, few do it better.

Anywho, enjoy the new Yarn of Yarnnation. If you haven't left a comment, go ahead, I will choose a commenter next Friday evening, so let's say comment through Friday 5:00 pm pacific time.

Women can be wonderful

Yesterday I received a package in the mail from my friend Heather. Heather is a doula, and it is a shame that she lives in Utah, because the Duke and I are seriously considering hiring a doula, and I would love Heather to be mine. Anywho, she is also a mentor for birthing classes using the "Birthing from Within" method. In the package was Pam England's book Birthing From Within that describes the method.
Now, you all have heard me declare to anyone who would listen that I HATE BEING PREGNANT! I'm no where near ready to rescind that claim, but I am only part way through the book and it has all ready given me a few ways to at least better cope, emotionally and psychologically with some of the most difficult aspects of pregnancy for me. The primary one being eating. I still dislike eating, as it still makes me sick, and my diet is very very very limited at the moment, but Pam suggests telling your baby what you are eating, describing it to the baby. I took this a little bit further, and being the jounaling fanatic that I am, I wrote to my baby about the food, why I was eating it, what good it would do for both of us, and why I did or didn't like the food. It has been helpful thinking of eating as feeding my baby, similar to the way you would feed new foods to a child.
One this is for sure, this kid is either going to LOVE or HATE plain white rice. It makes up the vast majority of our diet.

Anyway, one good thing that is coming from me being so sick that I can't leave my bed or couch is that there is much less of a chance now that I will kill some unthinking dunce that I inevitably come across when I leave the house.

So the last time I went out and had to interact with people was last Sunday. I went to church, despite being sick, to hear my hubby speak in church. Now, for those of you who don't know me or read my other blog, church attendance is very important to me. It has been one of the major sacrifices of this pregnancy that I have only been to church twice in the last nine or ten weeks.
Normally I have nothing but good feelings for the people that I go to church with, and I was happy to see many of them. There were others, however, that I just wanted to scream at. There was one, I'm sure well meaning man, who thoughtfully suggested that I eat a few soda crackers to help with the nausea. I was nice, I didn't even SCREAM even though I wanted too.

DO YOU THINK THAT SOMETHING THAT COULD BE SOLVED WITH SODA CRACKERS WOULD HAVE KEPT ME AWAY FROM CHURCH AND IN BED FOR THE LAST 10 WEEKS?

There were plenty of others assuring me that the nausea would end soon, that for them it only lasted 12 weeks or 14 weeks or 16 weeks or "just hold out for 20 weeks, it will all be over by then." Right.

There were plenty of other suggestions, eat smaller portions, eat more frequently, drink mint tea. By the end of it I felt like I should have a "failed therapy" sheet.

1. crackers - failed
2. tea- mint, raspberry leaf, anise, fennel, ginger, lemon, ect - failed and induced vomiting
3. eating smaller portions and less often - resulted in increased vomiting
4. sea bands - failed
5. vit b and unisom - I was so hopeful
5.5 (I forgot) expensive pink and black pill that I can't remember the name of - failed
6. promethazine - failed
7. ondanzatron (a very powerful anti-nausea drug) - failed
8. glycerin suppositories and fiber - well, this sort of worked, but not to stop the nausea and vomiting.

Other things I have tried include drinking Coke, which actually works a little bit, but as I am super sensitive to caffeine it has unpleasant side effects. Not eating at all - I thought you couldn't throw up if you didn't eat - I was wrong. Throwing up anything is better than throwing up stomach acid alone.

Now I mostly eat plain rice, sometimes with an egg, and I try to get some fruits and veggies in there if I can. I get even more sick every time I eat and the only thing that provides even a bit of relief is laying flat on my back. Sounds fun, no?

Here are a few things I am grateful for in my current state.
- my two rice cookers. I'm very picky about my rice and I'm so happy I don't have to cook it on the stove.
- Librivox- I can't knit, I can't spin, it hurts my arms to hold a book up for too long, so I am grateful that I can listen
- The Duke- he is as understanding and compassionate as any man could be. He tries to stay positive, which is good even if it makes me mad sometimes.
- my laptop- it is going to be very hard to finish out this school quarter laying on my back (here's hoping I won't have too) without my laptop such a proposition would be impossible. It also keeps me in touch with the outside world. No matter how much I love my dogs, they just aren't very good conversationalists.

Well typing is getting uncomfortable. This computer is great, but it gets very hot sitting on my legs.

Here's hoping that tomorrow is better.

Happy Mother's Day

Or not so happy Mother's Day, as the case may be.

I really do hope all of you had a wonderful day. Mine wasn't so hot. I was sick all night, and still sick all day, but the Duke was speaking in church, so I dragged myself out of bed to be there. I know he appreciated it. He gets so nervous. He did a great job.

(For those of you who are not familiar with Mormon clergy, we don't have paid ministers, so members of the congregation take turns giving the sermons. There are usually 2-3 per Sunday. A member speaks for 10-20 min. to a room full of 100-200 people. You might imagine, if public speaking isn't your thing, it can be a bit of a stressor.)

He was too focused on that and the stress of taking his board exams to consider that um, perhaps he should do something to mark this first Mother's Day for me. He did get me a card, but he lost it. I understand, I really do. It's kind of a hard patch right now, and besides, he is the everyday good kind of husband, and I wouldn't trade that for the once a year good kind of husband. (He is taking me on a picnic on Tues, too, so you see, everyday good, if not always once a year good.)

Actually, the hardest part of the day was talking to my family. I only had to make one phone call to talk to all the mothers in my family, both grandmothers, my mom, my sister, sister-in-law, and even one aunt.

They were all gathered at the Queen's house enjoying one another, having a delicious meal, and worst of all, eating Angle Food Cake with strawberries, my favorite. I was so happy that they were all enjoying their day as moms, but it was hard to hear about the day as I sat eating left over chicken noodle soup by myself. I wished so badly I was there, and (hint to the Queen) telling me it's my own fault for living in a different state did not help.

The Duke and I know without a doubt that we are where we are supposed to be. Washington is our home now and we love it here. We are doing our best to make our own traditions and surround ourselves with an extended family of friends and loved ones, but the truth is, that sometimes it's just hard to live far away from your family.

So, after a bit of cry, the Duke and I filled up the rest of our evening with dreams of the future. It was a refreshing way to end a difficult day.



Beautiful isn't it? We think so. Enough room for a gaggle of children (the remainder of the gaggle to be adopted, of course) and even a MIL apartment, so that some day, perhaps a mother or two will celebrate here in our paradise.

One thing about those Wrights, you can't keep them down for long!

Desperate Duchess and Dashing Doggie

I want to say thank you again for all the comments, suggestions, emails and general love and good vibes that so many of you have sent since I announced my impending alien arrival. I have tried everything that any of you have suggested, and anything that anyone else has suggested. Some of the suggestions worked a little bit. Some of them made me more sick. Some of them concerned my darling Duke (but I did them anyway- desperation is KING.) Please, be patient with me in answering your comments and emails. My energy level is very limited.

Thank you for the encouragement to start selling the onesies out of my etsy shop. I don't think I will any time soon, as my business brain ruins all creativity when it takes over (ie- You CAN NOT spend more than 20 min on a single onesie, or your cost of labor will go above the point where you can cover that cost and still sell the onesie at a reasonable price point.) However, there will be some fun new baby and shower gifts to come out of this new found activity. If you really want one, you may also be able to bribe me with yarn or other fibery goodness to paint one for you. Email me and we'll talk.

Now, if you want to skip my continued whining about how much I hate being pregnant (and really who could blame you,) scroll down to where the pictures start.

The Saga Continues. . .

Yesterday morning I had to open the refrigerator, a task that requires me holding my breath, as there is a smell emanating from within (despite the fact that the Duke has thrown nearly everything away out if- bad or not,) that sends me into dry heaves. The Duke can't smell it- at all, but I can't even be in the room when it is open, and have to evacuate the area for about 2 min. each time the accursed appliance is opened. You can imagine this is a problem for someone who 1. is pregnant and 2. doesn't want to eat anything as it is.
So, yesterday as I was following a dear friend's advise to eat something bland when I felt sick, that for her, the sick feeling was her body's way of telling her she was hungry. Rice Checks were on the menu and after an uneventful meal I summoned the courage to replace the rice milk. I prepared for the event, took a deep breath, opened the door, and somehow instantly ran out of air. As I replaced the rice milk I also inhaled. This sent me immediately into dry heave convulsions. Normally this would only last a couple of seconds, but not this time. They continued as I frantically made my way to the porcelain recepticle (I was in NO SHAPE to be cleaning vomit off the floor.)
Up to this point in my pregnancy I have only thrown up once, brought on by an extremely upsetting conversation (watch for major life change #2 coming soon.) Yesterday was to be my second. I have no idea what it is like to have a seizure, but if I were to imagine it, this is what I would now imagine. Naturally, this can only go on for so long before any body would relent. I lost my Rice Checks. I crawled to my bed and began to alternately wonder why God suddenly decided to hate me, and if my lifelong defence of Eve's decision was warranted.
Now, I know that God doesn't hate me, and I know that Eve did what she did for a noble and great purpose, and I am thankful for both of those things, but my brain had been short circuited to feel nothing but pain, there was no hope.
I have known for several days now that salvation from this malady lie in my medicine cabinet. A friend and my cousin had both told me that Promethazine (Phenergan) was the only thing that made their pregnancies tolerable. I had talked to the Duke (who, for those of you who don't know will be a pharmacist in about a month) and my father (who is also pharmacist,) about taking this *scary music starts here* DRUG! The Duke wanted me to wait until after my first doctor's appointment and my father, who showed no real concern about me taking this drug, thought that I probably should as well, but knew of many women who had taken it during pregnancy and had healthy happy babies. For those of you who are medically minded, it is rated category C for pregnant women.
I wasn't comfortable calling my doctor, as I had all ready done this once and he had told me that he wasn't very comfortable prescribing me something until after he had seen me, but would make an exception just this once. (So I all ready used that card) and I can't really go see him until the 1st of April when my insurance kicks in. Now, all of this would be moot, as it is a prescription drug, except that I HAVE A BOTTLE OF PROMETHAZINE IN MY MEDICINE CABINET. My PCP had prescribed it a couple of years back when I was having nausea brought on by migraines. I didn't need it for long, as I soon afterward quit the job that was causing me to have migraines, thus treating the problem in a more proactive way.
I fought the "temptation" for a few hours longer and finally, at the end of what I consider a very long rope, I looked up the appropriate dose for pregnant women. I took the lowest possible first dose and was in the most profound sleep I have had in weeks within a half an hour. I took the second dose several hours later and, although I was not miraculously better, I finally felt well enough to wash my hair for the first time in 7 days (I have showered once in that period of time, but couldn't bring myself to wash my hair, which is kind of a lot of work.) I normally shower daily or every other day, and I only rarely shower without washing my hair. After a bit of a rest I was also able to leave my house, and run some errands.

I was able to go to the bank, boring buy long overdue.

I was able to go the Baskin and Robbins and get (and EAT!) a scoop of the only one of the 31 flavors I am permitted- Daiquiri Ice- YUM

I was able to go to the fabric store where I bought these



to make this.



BTW- Princess, if you like this well enough after I'm done, I will make one for you, but I didn't realize until I got there just how much fabric it requires, and the personal accountant balked at two right now (plus I didn't find any fabric I really LOVED for you.)

I also got these for Princess, who fell in love with this fabric line after seeing what JoJo at Stardust Shoes did with them. Thanks to Chef Messy for introducing both of us to this super cute blog.



I was able to go to a baby store and bought my first real baby puchase. It was on sale for "only" $30.00 and the ones that I've admired like this before (with a "big" name attached to them) were over $100.00. It felt so real to be buying something for the alien.



I also have some knitting content to share (oh yes, that reminds me, I also felt well enough to get a little - a very little- knitting done.) Here are a couple of patterns that together make up Dashing Doggie. You will find them, free of charge, on my patterns page.



UPDATE: While I was writing this post I was also eating a green apple. I went upstairs as the Duke's alarm went off, but he didn't get up. I was feeling OK, still a little nausea, but I didn't expect to feel 100%, after all I am pregnant. I got the Duke up and laid back down myself. 10 seconds later I found myself violently puking up my green apple and crackers. I relent! I give up! I surrender. I called my Dr. this morning and said I would come in and pay for the appointment, what ever he wanted, just PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make it stop! He told me I could take a higher dose of the Promethazine for today, and then called in a prescription for Zophran (aka one of the most expensive drugs on the market- these people know that a vomitous pregnant woman will pay nearly anything for relief, and so I will.) God bless this good man. He understands pregnancy related deperation.

Here's hoping that the sun will come out tomorrow.

Even the Tea Has Turned on Me

Good Grief, will it never end?
Today:
-Got kicked in my sleep by my husband (hard)
-Woke up at 5:00 am, unable to get back to sleep
-Realized the Duke is still sick as I gaged watching him clean goop out of his eyes
-Fought with (for several hours) and then finally canceled my health insurance
-Spilled scalding hot tea all over myself, my couch, and of course, my computer
-In my rush to clean it up I find (deeply imbeded in my foot) the second of two needles I dropped the other day in the carpet (unable to find the second at the time I concluded I had been mistaken and there must have only been one.)

On the other hand:
-I finished the slides for my Business Plan presentation on Thurs
-Created a template for my patterns and formated the first one, which is all ready off to Princess P. who is test knitting



-Got better photographs of the Easy Peasy Baby Rattle and the Birthday Bib

-Finished a little baby hat for a friend who is due on Sat.

-Got a great start on the next Ba Ba Baby design Sweet Sunny Baby

-I am up-to-date on my tetnus shot (I think, I had one in 1999- checking- yup 10 years, I'm still good for a bit longer)
-There was still enough hot water in the tea pot for another cup of tea

Luckily my silver linings are usually pretty broad.

When It Rain It Pours. . .

Does living in Seattle make that statement more ironic?

I believe that right before a person is about to receive a choice blessing, the powers of hell conspire against that person to try to get them to do something that will really screw things up.

I believe that trials are actually blessings in disguise, given to us as opportunities to change, to grow, to improve.

I believe that we are here to learn and that learning means falling down sometimes. I also believe that we are here to be tested, and that being tested means being put in situations that will test us.

So I will therefore conclude the following:
1. The forthcoming blessing is going to ROCK!
2. I have reached another growing spurt in my life.
3. I may not get an A+, but I'm doing the best I can, and I am proud of that (in a tired sort of way.)

Today I:

-- Stayed up until 5 am working on the last section and the financial forecasts of my business plan. When I finally fell asleep it still wasn't done, and in my opinion, there is nothing worse than pulling an all nighter and not finishing the product.

-- Fought my body all day

-- Was frustrated because I couldn't take care of my sick husband.

-- Was deeply disappointed by someone I thought was my friend

-- Had a person we believe is trying to commit insurance fraud file a claim against our insurance.

-- Was used as someone's personal emotional punching bag

-- Had to let someone down, once again, due to my inability to say no.

-- Ate something that disagreed with my stomach

-- Picked up my dog's bedding that he had, only moment's before, peed on.

-- Had an emotional breakdown.

It was a sucky day. . . but like all rainstorms, this one too will soon be over, and there is a bright and beautiful silver lining.

This is Logan looking over three copies of my FINISHED business plan. (He is a fierce editor, by the way, tearing up things he doesn't like!)



It is a very dense 37 page, single spaced, document that I am extremely proud of.

It has a table of contents



It has charts and graphs






It has financial analysis



AND IT'S DONE and with a whole 20 min. to spare- who could ask for anything more?