Monday, August 28, 2006

Duchess, LLC (Inside an MBA students head)

A conversation in my head from the "Tasks" department

New Voice in My Head: I just got a memo about finished objects from the creativity department. Do we do Finished Objects here?

Experienced Voice: (not looking up but shaking her head) Not during intersession.

NV: Oh, of course not, not during intersessiong (pause) What is intersession?

EV: (looking up in surprise) It's that sick and cruel form of torture we have been going through the last two weeks. You didn't think it was always like this did you? Oh dear, no, it's busy here, but there is no way we could carry on that pace for long periods of time.

NV: (a clear look of relief on her face) Oh, I'm so glad you told me. I was wondering what I got myself into.

EV: (smiling) There are a few times during the year that we go through this, but it's usually more manageable. Intersession is one of the worst, and having the attic under construction, the Duke traveling, and the Scooter STILL in the shop has made it an unusually hectic one.

NV: Why do we go through intersession? It's not like Christmas, or finals where we don't have a choice.

EV: I haven't a clue, you'd have to talk to the growth and development department to find that out, but be careful if you go over there. They all have their heads in the clouds and, in my opinion, can be very dangerous at times.

NV: (getting progressively upset) Well don't they know that overloads the rest of us. I mean, look at the house, it looks like a man and two dogs have been living here alone. There are dead flowers on the table, and some of the meals we have eaten as of late are flat out embarrassing.

EV: Oh believe me, I have talked to the logic department, the stress management department, the reality check department. Evidently the growth and development department overrides all of them and believe me, they can get carried away over there.

NV: (now really upset) In addition to all of that, those four pairs of pants aren't going to hem themselves. And who is the Project Manager in the creativity department anyway. We don't have time to finish creative projects right now, what are they thinking? I'm going to complain!

EV: Now, now, settle down, you're going to have stress management up in arms. This last weekend's 'retreat' was the culmination of the intersession class that we took this year. We only have one more class to attend next week plus a couple of short papers to write, nothing major. Plus, look at everything we got done today, and that was after the voices over at self care insisted on sleeping for 12.5 hours last night. We have tomorrow off of work and we will get the flowers and the pants taken care of then.
Don't worry about the PM at creativity, she's actually very nice, and you don't want to make her mad, she's very powerful and can make life very difficult for us if she wants.
Now, you go over to self care and let them know you need some chocolate. When you come back you can send a memo over to creativity and let them know that I finished up the bib, washcloth, and bottle cozy they made for the new baby, I just forgot to take a picture before I delivered it. Oh, and don't let IT see the memo, they will be irritated that I forgot that the new cell phone takes pictures. You can also suggest that creativity get started on a blog entry recording last weekend. That will keep them busy for a while.

NV: Oh, thanks so much. I really could use some chocolate. I'll get better at this, I promise.

EV: I know you will. We all have what G&D calls a learning curve. Trust me, I know from experience, the chocolate will help. Make sure they give you the good dark stuff. Those M&M's they took with us this weekend were only semi helpful


  1. oh NV, just do a couple SWOT analyses, some 5 forces, examine your product life cycle, focus on TQM, calculate your beta, and always, always remember the shareholders. You'll be just fine.

  2. AHAH. I thought you had finally gone over the edge, but from Martine's comment I understand it's just b-school (and possibly some other factors). Me, I'm staying out of it.

    I hope the scooter's fixed soon!