Half Way

Lookie over there to your right. . . That's right- 20 weeks today, that means I am half way done with this personal form of hell they call pregnancy. There have been days when I was sure I would die long before this and whether endurance when there is no other option is cause for celebration or not, we are going to celebrate!



The Sweet Duke brought me flowers. We had a doctor's appointment where it was determined that what I thought was a recurrence of a previous bladder infection is very probably just ligament pain. And last but not least, we'll probably go out to dinner tonight, depending on how the little alien is feeling about it.



Speaking of the Alien, he is a vigorous little dude. Sleep is not high on his priority list. I'm thinkin' he's taking after his daddy and is getting all the swimming time in he can while he still has room. Yep, I think those are flip turns I'm feeling.

And in a complete change of topic, I would like to thank my friend JJ for introducing me to this cool new site. You all may remember that I was worried about what I would do after school was out, and I was considering reading for a Librivox project, as it was something useful I could do from home, but had worries about my reading skills? Well, I may still read for a project, but this, this is something I KNOW I can do and I know I am good at and I am very excited about.

SO, the LDS church holds that largest collection of genealogical records anywhere on earth. Presently to access these records you must visit the Family History Library in Salt Lake City or one of thousands of Family History Centers throughout the world. This doesn't seem like that big of a deal until you learn that if you aren't in SLC you have to order the microfilm or fiche from SLC, wait for it, then return it in three weeks. Also, the vast majority of the indexes (if the records are indexed at all) are also on film, so you have to order the index, and the film or films with the actual records, and depending on the size of the collection. . .well, let's just say it's tedious.

This project is the second part of a massive three part undertaking that will make these
records not only access able via the Internet, but also completely ELECTRONICALLY INDEXED!!! I know it shows how big of a geek I am that I am so excited about this, but really, I don't care. I am so excited to be able to participate in this. (For those of you who don't know, this geekiness stems from my bachelor's degree, which is in Family History and Genealogy.)

The church has all ready been taking their microfilmed copies of the records and digitizing them. They have been doing this for five years and with technology advancements, have dramatically picked up speed. They have also created a software program that permits your average computer user to input the data from the image of the original record into a database. You or I or anyone else can download a "batch" which is a fairly small piece of a record, enter the information from the original record into the database, and then upload that completed batch back to their server. After that is done twice for each record a third party checks to see if the two entries match (for accuracy), reconciles any differences, and then that information is integrated into the main database. The last part of this project will be to make the electronically scanned and indexed records available to search and view online. THIS IS SO COOL!

I think I read that they will begin making the records available as they are finished, but it will be a very long time before the project is complete. To give you an idea of how big this collection is, I took this of the Family History Library's site

The collection includes over 2.4 million rolls of microfilmed genealogical records; 742,000 microfiche; 310,000 books, serials, and other formats; 4,500 periodicals; 700 electronic resources.

I used to teach a introduction to genealogy class and one of the things that I used to share with my class is that if all of that microfilm and fiche were in book format, the library would be over three times as big as the largest library in the world.

OK, so I've probably long since lost all of you. If you're still reading, go check it out and consider volunteering. It's very cool.

Things that are Expanding

Friday night I commented to Sarah that no one could tell that I was pregnant, that I really wasn't showing at all yet. I'll omit her explanation of that phenomenon.
Saturday I got up and put on a skirt and a stretchy tailored tee shirt. When I looked in the mirror something was different. OK, now I know what they mean by POP!



Just so you know the dark spot on my belly is a birth mark that I am very fond of. It's a little stretched out right now, but look closely and you can still see that it is in the shape of a Scottie Dog. His nose if facing my belly button.

There is also a knitted item here in Yarnnation that underwent a sudden and dramatic expansion.


Here is the finished Charlotte's Shawl blocked to within an inch of its life. The strange happenings at either end there are a result of binding off too loose. When does that happen? I didn't fix it because I thought it might help it stay on better and I didn't think it would bother me. We'll see.
The finished measurements are about 37 inches tall and 96 inches wide. It is big, as predicted, but surprisingly, it isn't as big as I thought it was going to be.

One last thing, probably in a sick attempt to make sure that I have too much to do in the ensuing months (again that fear of nothing planned,) I have started another blog. I know, I'm crazy. It is true that I all ready have two blogs, but I don't often post to my second blog, only when a though or experience warrants it. This blog is a "down to earth," Seattle area, restaurant review blog. Here is what lead me to conclude the Seattle area needed such a blog.

I have been looking for several days now for a restaurant in the area that meets the following criteria:

1. Northwest or Italian Cuisine of good quality, not a chain
2. Moderately Priced
3. Can accommodate a party of 17
4. Takes reservations for Friday evenings
5. Isn't too noisy

You would not believe how difficult of a task this is. I did come across three new blogs to follow in the process, but none of them could help in this task. I am going to check out one recommended by Jessica tomorrow, and my hopes are high. However, there was nothing on the Internet that could answer my particular questions and concerns, and so it began.

Check it out if you are so inclined.

The content is limited right now, of course, but will grow over time.

Why Bacteria Suck

I know, I know, the world would be in a world of hurt without them, but honestly, when they attacked my bladder, they just went too far.

That's the diagnosis. We were fairly certain of it when the doc pushed (from both sides mind you) on my bladder and I nearly passed out. I have a strep b. infection in my bladder. It's a problem that is fairly easily fixed (thanks, dad.) Unfortunately, I tend to expel all orally administered antibiotics, so we asked my doctor for an injectable and he obliged by sticking a needle in my butt. That's good with me. I go back in a few days to see if it's gone or if I need another dose.

This type of infection can cause pre-term labor (bad) so it's important to get rid of it (not to mention the fact that I AM IN PAIN.) However, it is a pretty easy bacteria to kill (good.) It also means that I will be administered preventative antibiotics when I go into labor for (hopefully) four hours prior to delivery, as strep b is bad bad bad for baby (bad and good - bad that I have to have an IV but good that we know about it so baby doesn't get sick.)

Deep breath, and OK, I can handle all of that.

The Doc (who I love by-the-way, if you live in Seattle and you get pregnant, email me for a referral, this guy is great) also gave me a slip for an ultrasound, but wants us to wait til I am 18 weeks. So, we thought we would make a week from this coming Friday an extra big day. The Duke is graduating from Pharmacy school, tons of our family will be here, and we'll get to see the little alien and hopefully discover if it's a boy alien or a girl alien.

Thank you all for your good vibes and wishes. I did attempt to knit away my anxiety. . .



This is a the nearly finished Charlotte's Shawl. It's going to be BIG.

I also cast on the second Go With the Flo sock and knit several inches as well as knocked a few more items off my WIP list.

I finished the yellow and green baby sweater and ripped out the Duke's shadow scarf. That gets me down to 10 including the Shawl, progress, but still more work to do.

Again, thanks for all of the happy thoughts you've sent my way.

Anxiety

The Duke and I spent three hours in the ER tonight letting people poke and prod me with various unpleasant objects. They were trying to determine the source of the "abdominal pain" (which is not abdominal pain no matter how many times I tell them that) I am experiencing. The Result? More anxiety, no answers.
The doctor said that he could see nothing grossly wrong, which the Duke interpreted for me. "Gross" in medical terminology means you can't see it with the naked eye. I'm glad the Duke was there, the way the doc said it made me think that there was something wrong, but it wasn't terribly wrong.
Anyway, they took samples of pretty much anything you can collect from a human body and will let me know if anything looks weird. There was nothing that made them think there was any immediate danger, as my cervix (the source of the pain) is closed and the baby is not in distress. So the OB on call said we would just need to wait for lab results and an ultrasound, which I am slated for in the next week or two anyway.
They wanted to stick an IV in me to increase my fluids but I wouldn't let them, preferring to just drink a liter of gatoraid instead. They sent me home with orders to stay in bed until Tues when I have an appointment with my doctor.

Did I mention that I hate being pregnant?
Send good vibes my way and hope that I don't need them. My dad reminds me that it's nearly always nothing, or something simple to fix, but of course he also acknowledges that is cold comfort. Anxiety is a true "talent" of mine, few do it better.

Anywho, enjoy the new Yarn of Yarnnation. If you haven't left a comment, go ahead, I will choose a commenter next Friday evening, so let's say comment through Friday 5:00 pm pacific time.

Women can be wonderful

Yesterday I received a package in the mail from my friend Heather. Heather is a doula, and it is a shame that she lives in Utah, because the Duke and I are seriously considering hiring a doula, and I would love Heather to be mine. Anywho, she is also a mentor for birthing classes using the "Birthing from Within" method. In the package was Pam England's book Birthing From Within that describes the method.
Now, you all have heard me declare to anyone who would listen that I HATE BEING PREGNANT! I'm no where near ready to rescind that claim, but I am only part way through the book and it has all ready given me a few ways to at least better cope, emotionally and psychologically with some of the most difficult aspects of pregnancy for me. The primary one being eating. I still dislike eating, as it still makes me sick, and my diet is very very very limited at the moment, but Pam suggests telling your baby what you are eating, describing it to the baby. I took this a little bit further, and being the jounaling fanatic that I am, I wrote to my baby about the food, why I was eating it, what good it would do for both of us, and why I did or didn't like the food. It has been helpful thinking of eating as feeding my baby, similar to the way you would feed new foods to a child.
One this is for sure, this kid is either going to LOVE or HATE plain white rice. It makes up the vast majority of our diet.

Anyway, one good thing that is coming from me being so sick that I can't leave my bed or couch is that there is much less of a chance now that I will kill some unthinking dunce that I inevitably come across when I leave the house.

So the last time I went out and had to interact with people was last Sunday. I went to church, despite being sick, to hear my hubby speak in church. Now, for those of you who don't know me or read my other blog, church attendance is very important to me. It has been one of the major sacrifices of this pregnancy that I have only been to church twice in the last nine or ten weeks.
Normally I have nothing but good feelings for the people that I go to church with, and I was happy to see many of them. There were others, however, that I just wanted to scream at. There was one, I'm sure well meaning man, who thoughtfully suggested that I eat a few soda crackers to help with the nausea. I was nice, I didn't even SCREAM even though I wanted too.

DO YOU THINK THAT SOMETHING THAT COULD BE SOLVED WITH SODA CRACKERS WOULD HAVE KEPT ME AWAY FROM CHURCH AND IN BED FOR THE LAST 10 WEEKS?

There were plenty of others assuring me that the nausea would end soon, that for them it only lasted 12 weeks or 14 weeks or 16 weeks or "just hold out for 20 weeks, it will all be over by then." Right.

There were plenty of other suggestions, eat smaller portions, eat more frequently, drink mint tea. By the end of it I felt like I should have a "failed therapy" sheet.

1. crackers - failed
2. tea- mint, raspberry leaf, anise, fennel, ginger, lemon, ect - failed and induced vomiting
3. eating smaller portions and less often - resulted in increased vomiting
4. sea bands - failed
5. vit b and unisom - I was so hopeful
5.5 (I forgot) expensive pink and black pill that I can't remember the name of - failed
6. promethazine - failed
7. ondanzatron (a very powerful anti-nausea drug) - failed
8. glycerin suppositories and fiber - well, this sort of worked, but not to stop the nausea and vomiting.

Other things I have tried include drinking Coke, which actually works a little bit, but as I am super sensitive to caffeine it has unpleasant side effects. Not eating at all - I thought you couldn't throw up if you didn't eat - I was wrong. Throwing up anything is better than throwing up stomach acid alone.

Now I mostly eat plain rice, sometimes with an egg, and I try to get some fruits and veggies in there if I can. I get even more sick every time I eat and the only thing that provides even a bit of relief is laying flat on my back. Sounds fun, no?

Here are a few things I am grateful for in my current state.
- my two rice cookers. I'm very picky about my rice and I'm so happy I don't have to cook it on the stove.
- Librivox- I can't knit, I can't spin, it hurts my arms to hold a book up for too long, so I am grateful that I can listen
- The Duke- he is as understanding and compassionate as any man could be. He tries to stay positive, which is good even if it makes me mad sometimes.
- my laptop- it is going to be very hard to finish out this school quarter laying on my back (here's hoping I won't have too) without my laptop such a proposition would be impossible. It also keeps me in touch with the outside world. No matter how much I love my dogs, they just aren't very good conversationalists.

Well typing is getting uncomfortable. This computer is great, but it gets very hot sitting on my legs.

Here's hoping that tomorrow is better.

Have I mentioned. . .

that I HATE being pregnant? OK, I know, no one really wants to hear about how much I hate being pregnant, but I don't care, it's my blog and you don't have to read it if you don't want.

It's awful that the only time during the entire day that I feel good is the 20 min. immediately after I wake up (and only then if I am allowed to sleep as long as I want, which is rare.) After about 20 min. I begin to get hungry, and not regular hungry, like I've not eaten in 100 years hungry.

It's awful that despite being so hungry, I have learned that the only thing I can eat is fairly bland cereal, and even this WILL make me sick, but I can (until this morning) keep it down.

It's awful that the smell of my kitchen, my garage, my dogs, their toys, most foods, and even my husband sometimes, brings on the sudden urge to impersonate Old Faithful.

It's awful that despite being exhausted at night, I can't sleep because I am so uncomfortable.

It's awful that every time I eat I get sick, and if that weren't bad enough, my stomach is so squished that I have to eat about 6 times daily.

It's awful that even though I have to spend so much time trying to figure out what I can eat and when I can eat, and just thinking about food (that I don't want to eat) in general, that a good portion of it doesn't even have the decency to stay in my stomach and do its job.

It's awful that wearing a bra makes me more sick, and that not wearing a bra in uncomfortable because my gals are so tender. (And yes, I've purchased and tried 6 different bras, it doesn't matter.)

It's awful that I have so little control over my emotions, and that the poor Duke has to tolerate me bursting into tears over NOTHING!

It's awful that even though I'm not eating anything I'm still getting fat, and no I don't look pregnant, just fat.

It's awful that I was taking solace in the fact that my feet hadn't swollen at all, until yesterday when I put on my most comfortable pair of dress shoes and they gave me blisters.

It's awful that my legs ache and ache and ache and make me want to scream.

It's awful that there are other things that are awful that are too personal to put on this blog.

It's awful that I want to kill anyone who tells me it will all be worth it, or that it will all be over before I know it, or any other such attempt at comfort.

It's awful that for the most part, I don't have the energy or focus to either knit or read.

It's awful that I am too proud to "allow" myself to be sick. I push myself too hard, and even then I am disappointed in how little I can accomplish in a day. I normally live my life just slightly south of manic, slow is not a good word for me. It's probably the hardest thing about all of this.

I know it could be worse, that doesn't make me feel better.

OK, I guess I'm done with my pitty party now. I guess I'll go back to bed.

ps- I'm turning off the comments for this post. I know ya'll love me and want me to feel better, this was more just for me to vent something that I feel more and more like I should keep to myself.