Friday, May 18, 2007

Women can be wonderful

Yesterday I received a package in the mail from my friend Heather. Heather is a doula, and it is a shame that she lives in Utah, because the Duke and I are seriously considering hiring a doula, and I would love Heather to be mine. Anywho, she is also a mentor for birthing classes using the "Birthing from Within" method. In the package was Pam England's book Birthing From Within that describes the method.
Now, you all have heard me declare to anyone who would listen that I HATE BEING PREGNANT! I'm no where near ready to rescind that claim, but I am only part way through the book and it has all ready given me a few ways to at least better cope, emotionally and psychologically with some of the most difficult aspects of pregnancy for me. The primary one being eating. I still dislike eating, as it still makes me sick, and my diet is very very very limited at the moment, but Pam suggests telling your baby what you are eating, describing it to the baby. I took this a little bit further, and being the jounaling fanatic that I am, I wrote to my baby about the food, why I was eating it, what good it would do for both of us, and why I did or didn't like the food. It has been helpful thinking of eating as feeding my baby, similar to the way you would feed new foods to a child.
One this is for sure, this kid is either going to LOVE or HATE plain white rice. It makes up the vast majority of our diet.

Anyway, one good thing that is coming from me being so sick that I can't leave my bed or couch is that there is much less of a chance now that I will kill some unthinking dunce that I inevitably come across when I leave the house.

So the last time I went out and had to interact with people was last Sunday. I went to church, despite being sick, to hear my hubby speak in church. Now, for those of you who don't know me or read my other blog, church attendance is very important to me. It has been one of the major sacrifices of this pregnancy that I have only been to church twice in the last nine or ten weeks.
Normally I have nothing but good feelings for the people that I go to church with, and I was happy to see many of them. There were others, however, that I just wanted to scream at. There was one, I'm sure well meaning man, who thoughtfully suggested that I eat a few soda crackers to help with the nausea. I was nice, I didn't even SCREAM even though I wanted too.


There were plenty of others assuring me that the nausea would end soon, that for them it only lasted 12 weeks or 14 weeks or 16 weeks or "just hold out for 20 weeks, it will all be over by then." Right.

There were plenty of other suggestions, eat smaller portions, eat more frequently, drink mint tea. By the end of it I felt like I should have a "failed therapy" sheet.

1. crackers - failed
2. tea- mint, raspberry leaf, anise, fennel, ginger, lemon, ect - failed and induced vomiting
3. eating smaller portions and less often - resulted in increased vomiting
4. sea bands - failed
5. vit b and unisom - I was so hopeful
5.5 (I forgot) expensive pink and black pill that I can't remember the name of - failed
6. promethazine - failed
7. ondanzatron (a very powerful anti-nausea drug) - failed
8. glycerin suppositories and fiber - well, this sort of worked, but not to stop the nausea and vomiting.

Other things I have tried include drinking Coke, which actually works a little bit, but as I am super sensitive to caffeine it has unpleasant side effects. Not eating at all - I thought you couldn't throw up if you didn't eat - I was wrong. Throwing up anything is better than throwing up stomach acid alone.

Now I mostly eat plain rice, sometimes with an egg, and I try to get some fruits and veggies in there if I can. I get even more sick every time I eat and the only thing that provides even a bit of relief is laying flat on my back. Sounds fun, no?

Here are a few things I am grateful for in my current state.
- my two rice cookers. I'm very picky about my rice and I'm so happy I don't have to cook it on the stove.
- Librivox- I can't knit, I can't spin, it hurts my arms to hold a book up for too long, so I am grateful that I can listen
- The Duke- he is as understanding and compassionate as any man could be. He tries to stay positive, which is good even if it makes me mad sometimes.
- my laptop- it is going to be very hard to finish out this school quarter laying on my back (here's hoping I won't have too) without my laptop such a proposition would be impossible. It also keeps me in touch with the outside world. No matter how much I love my dogs, they just aren't very good conversationalists.

Well typing is getting uncomfortable. This computer is great, but it gets very hot sitting on my legs.

Here's hoping that tomorrow is better.

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