Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Hometown Lovin'



A co-ex-Utahn sent this too me, I had to post it, and add a little personal annotation.

You know you are from Utah when...


Green jell-o with carrots mixed in doesn't seem strange.
It will always seem strange, but I have seen all too many people eat it.

You can pronounce Tooele.
Not only can I pronounce it, I was raised there.

The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y.
In fact, I graduated from the Y.

You have actually eaten funeral potatoes.
Sooooooooo good! And, yes, that is actually what we call them, and yes, it is because they are always served at funerals.

You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle in the same month.
Oh, don't miss that.

You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot".

Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom. Hunting season is a school holiday.
It's true

The largest liquor store is the state government.

You can go skiing and play golf on the same day.

30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable.
Wimps I tell ya. My dad complains about the unbearable humidity when ever he is here.

Somewhere in your family tree is a polygamist.
Pretty cool, huh?

You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'.
Do you?

The elevation exceeds the population

You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you
AND, I have been the one to stop.

You can see the stars at night
Miss this too.

You have a bumper sticker that says "Families are Forever."
I don't but it's because I don't believe in bumper stickers, not the other way around.

You were an aunt or uncle before you were three.
No, but I know a guy who is a year older than his nephew. . . wierd, huh!

Your spouse's mother was pregnant at your wedding.
I've never actually seen it

You have more children than you can find biblical names for.
Not me

Your family considers a trip to McDonald'd a night out..
Gag, but sadly true for far too many Utah families, especially becasue there are so many good resuraunts in SLC.

Your first child was conceived on your honeymoon.
HA, I've been married for five year, and no children, but I know SEVERAL couples who had a 9 month baby.

You feel guilty when you watch Monday Night Football.
Our FHE in on Wed.

Your kids believe the deer hunt is a national holiday.

You drink Coke from a brown paper bag.

You consider a temple recommend a credit reference.

At least two of your salad bowls are at the homes of neighbors.
I just started buying "disposable" tupperware, it's easier.

You believe that you must be 18 or older to order coffee at a restaurant.

You wonder why fire truck drivers honk when you drive 35 mph in the left lane on the freeway.

There is a similarity between a ward basketball game and the L.A. riots.
The high schools in Utah won't let their players play "church" ball, too dangerous.

You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer.

You negotiate prices at a garage sale.

You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe.
Proff that I was never meant to live there forever. I can't even make jello when I follow the package, it doesn't set up, I think it knows that I hate it.

You've heard about BYU football in a testimony meeting.

You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times.
It's two Costco boxes of brownies at our house.

Your father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal.
Probably does

A member of your family wrote in Lavell Edwards for president in the last election.
The afore mentioned father-in-law

Cars in the slow lane are traveling the fastest; cars in the fast lane are traveling the slowest; cars in the middle lanes are always trying to exit.

Sandals are the best-selling shoes.
I'm not sure what this means, but Utahn's have a nasty fashion glitch that causes them to wear Birkies and Tevas with socks, very scary.

You have to ask for the uncensored version of "Titanic."

Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon.

You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore.
No, no, please no.

You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school.
This isn't a joke, it's true.

You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth.
AND- they can rebuild an entire freeway system AND a light rail system in 6-8 years. (Can you tell I'm irritated with the transit situation in Seattle?)

You're on your own if you are turning left.

Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but close for the opening of hunting season.

People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees.
I personally have worn shorts in sub-zero temperatures.

There is a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing.

The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift.

People drive to Idaho (or Arizona) to pick up a gallon of milk so they can play the lottery.

In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl.
GO COUGARS

Beer drinkers don't shop on Sunday.

You don't have to breathe cigarette smoke until you walk outside a building.

The cost of living rises while your salary drops.

Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck.
NO minivan, but the Duke and I have talked about how we really do need an old pickup truck. We have helped too many people move to count.

When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but gun and ski racks are standard.

Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher.

Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction.
Second biggest humanitarian organization in the world, only the Red Cross is bigger.

"Temple recommends" is acceptable identification for cashing a check.

More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood.
I don't know why this is, but there have been a lot of movies filmed near where I grew up.

You've never had a Mormon missionary knock on your door.
I actually have, but never when I lived in Utah.

Your neighbors complain about where they live, yet refuse to return to the state they moved from.

You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception.

You have more raw wheat stored than some Third World countries.

Your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall.

Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie.

You and all your friends come to your mother for a haircut in her kitchen.

You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million.
It makes a great dye.

You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment.
I AM a 10 cow wife!

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Utah.

3 comments:

  1. I found this so hilarious! I do live in Utah but I am a transplant from NY.

    Funny, funny :)

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  2. Ha ha. Many of these things hold true for my hometown neck of the woods - Jerome, ID - about 4 hours NW of SLC. I have no idea what a 10 cow wife is, but our favorite phrase was "oh fudge" and I STILL slip out an "oh my heck" every now and then. And the Stake house had the BEST parking lot for rollerskating!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You got it Wendee! You couldn't ask for a better roller rink!

    ReplyDelete